Misplaced

For anyone who has known me longer than oh, about eight seconds, it will not come as too much of a surprise that I spent much of my day today searching for a lost cell phone. My mom used to tell me I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on. Before Bennett was born I had multiple nightmares about misplacing my baby.

But I feel I've gotten better at keeping track of things over the years. And I swear one minute I was talking to Haley about plans to go to Lifetime Fitness for a workout and swim and moments later the phone had absolutely vanished.

This, as you may imagine, was quite a dire situation.

(An aside: I clearly remember being in college and stating with conviction that I couldn't imagine why I would ever need a cell phone. What in the world could be so important that it couldn't wait until I got home?)

Oh, I just want to go back and shake that silly little college girl. Um...what if I see a funny sign that reminds me of a friend? Or I need to tell Jeff that Bennett just farted at the store and then laughed at himself? These kinds of things just CAN'T WAIT!

Besides, I feel as though I've lost an arm when I don't have my phone. Tell me I'm not alone here.

I tried retracing my steps. No luck.

I looked in all of Bennett's favorite hiding places. It was not to be found in in the pantry, TV cabinet, bedside table or kitchen drawers.

Haley arrived to pick us up and she called my phone a couple of times as I ran from room to room listening for that peppy little jingle. Silence.

I really felt like I was losing my mind. It was JUST here in my hand!

I decided to give up and let Jeff help me look when he returned from work. Sometimes all it takes is a pair of fresh eyes to discover I left something in a terribly obvious place like on the kitchen counter.

Jeff got home and dug around in couch cushions as I checked in purses I've not used in months. I even looked in the dryer. Maybe I really had gone nuts and put it in there as I was switching out the laundry.

Not feeling very hopeful, I asked Jeff to call my number one more time. Crouching next to the dryer I heard a faint diddlee-dee-dee sound.

It took me a few seconds to find the source. And then a few seconds to comprehend how my phone managed to end up there.

Wait for it...
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Moms of toddlers, do you have a guess??
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Yes, my friends. My dear son dumped my iPhone into the Diaper Champ. See it in there among the stinky refuse?


That bag was scheduled for a trip to the trash bin first thing in the morning.

It would be a sad way to go for a perfectly healthy iphone, hanging out in a landfill, nestled in dirty diapers for the next 500 years. It's probably worse than the Blackberry that met an early demise after a flight from the second floor to the hardwoods below, courtesy of Mr. Bennett Anderson Parker. At least that was a quick and painless death.

Maybe the boy has something against my phones. We'll let his psychotherapist address that in a few years.