It seems that upon turning three, my dear son has become quite the little consumer. I long for the days before he realized that everything at Target could hypothetically belong to him if he could simply convince me to put it in the cart. He suddenly has long lists of needs and wants that he constantly places before me, the provider of all things plastic and entertaining.
"I want [whatever toy/candy/sports equipment he sees on the store shelf]. Let's get it now. Just one, Mommy! I only want just one!"
"Can we go to the store right now and get [a red soccer ball, a track excavator, a replacement for the "Doc" car he lost]? I don't have that!"
"I need [a big Buzz Lightyear, more dinosaurs, a Batman costume] like [Chapman, Elliott, Ridge]!"
I'm doing my dardnest to teach gratitude for what we have, that things cost money and the value of a dollar. But it seems to be falling on deaf ears. And I grew tired of arguing about every little item he wants or trying to explain that he has to wait seven months (or nearly 20% of his current lifespan) before Christmas arrives. (In addition, I don't want the anticipation of Christmas to be all about gifts.) So, I have introduced the idea of a Wish List, or "Wish Wish" as Bennett calls it. He now requests that I add a coveted item to his "Wish Wish" and usually that is the end of the discussion for a little while.
I'm not sure when he expects his Wish List dreams to be fulfilled, but it seems that the simple act of me acknowledging his desire and promising to consider the purchase of said item in the future makes a surprising difference in his attitude. The things that are just a passing fancy will be mentioned once and quickly forgotten, but those he's really taken a shine to will pop up multiple times. ("Big Buzz" is on the wish list probably 57 times.) So, although I don't have a good, physical LIST of everything he's mentioned in the past five months, those most important things are being drilled into my memory via repetition.
I'll keep working on the gratitude and value of money thing. But for now, the Wish Wish is saving me a little piece of sanity. And maybe (just maybe?) teaching my little consumer something about delayed gratification. We shall see!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Superheroes
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Cheaters Catch-Up: February
I've used homemade cleaners for two years now...I wonder how long before the smell of vinegar recalls something besides dying Eater eggs.
Listening to B help Jeff tell his favorite bedtime story: The Drive. "Mark Jackson for the TD! Go Broncos!" Not exactly calming, but sweet.
M&Ms + $4 wine + Wii = fun and klassy in-home date night
Dear darling daughter, you are miserable because you need to sleep. We will all feel better if you can close those big brown eyes and rest.
Perusing Borders Books, I was feeling self conscious about my annoyingly sqeaky shoes. Until another patron began playing the harmonica.
Today's adventures included twice climbing to the top of Chick-fil-A play tower & once crawling under a public bathroom stall. #neverdull
Finally reading Peterson's Understanding Exposure. 72 pages in and I'm feeling more confident and more confused. Think I need a study buddy.
So sad this morning to find a huge pot of leftover soup on the counter instead of in the fridge. What a waste! http://twitpic.com/12eaa2
B insisted on wearing his big boy pants to bed last night & just woke up clean and dry! We rewarded him with this. http://twitpic.com/12kx3m
Snow (day) fort! http://twitpic.com/12m2g6
Snowy day nap-time crafting (it's a hair clip): http://twitpic.com/12naza
House = disaster area, I'm tired and not at all ready to leave town tomorrow. But I loved this snow day w/ my favorite people! So thankful!
At a soda shop in Grandbury, TX @jeffeparker and I count the inappropriate uses of quotes and apostrophes. Ex: You will "love" our panini's.
Alien preachers, orangatan masters and chicken eye protectors making me cry from laughter during a riotous game of Balderdash w/the Jacksons
As a native Texan, I was shocked by what a gruesome scene the melting snow leaves behind. http://twitpic.com/13anij
I'm not caught up to live tv yet (so no spoilers please!) but is anyone else annoyed/irritated by the ice skating commentators? #olympics
Still much giggling and chatter from my 11th grade girls, but I've officially pooped out and said goodnight. Great night. So tired.
Attending two baby showers this weekend so its time to get my craft on. Project 1: soft blocks (that jingle!). http://twitpic.com/14rtfs
Date night!!
For a baby bear (no peeking, Fitzhughs!): http://twitpic.com/14ygya
@desibrown is it possible birthdays keep getting harder on a momma? I'm way more sentimental about B's upcoming 3rd than I was on his 1st.
Last night of hanging with my sis in Abilene. We're topping off our time together with a little flash-back fun. http://twitpic.com/15jiu0
· So I just recieved an email from myself (same account) with the subject "forms" and seven attachments. What??
Cheaters catch-up, January
I don't expect anyone to read this, but for posterity I'm posting my Twitter/Facebook updates from the past few months. (Idea unabashedly ripped off from Chrys.)
It only requires my phone and a few seconds to capture everyday moments and share them via these outlets...so I throw stuff out there on a fairly regular basis. This is not a comprehensive look at everything (or even anything) interesting or important that has taken place, rather simple snapshots of our life that I want to have to look back on later.
*For some reason all the time stamps seem to be in Pacific time. Just to clarify how kooky I truly am, I will confess that in my head Perfectionist Girl is hollering at me that I have to change them all to match the times these were actually posted. But I'm not going to do that. (You hear that PG? NOT DOING IT!) I've already spent way too much time fixing typos, reformatting these so they go in chronological order and getting the photos to display.
Texting @jeffeparker important bowl game updates (like my shock at the girth of a coach's rear end) since he is reading in bed as I watch.
It only requires my phone and a few seconds to capture everyday moments and share them via these outlets...so I throw stuff out there on a fairly regular basis. This is not a comprehensive look at everything (or even anything) interesting or important that has taken place, rather simple snapshots of our life that I want to have to look back on later.
*For some reason all the time stamps seem to be in Pacific time. Just to clarify how kooky I truly am, I will confess that in my head Perfectionist Girl is hollering at me that I have to change them all to match the times these were actually posted. But I'm not going to do that. (You hear that PG? NOT DOING IT!) I've already spent way too much time fixing typos, reformatting these so they go in chronological order and getting the photos to display.
Texting @jeffeparker important bowl game updates (like my shock at the girth of a coach's rear end) since he is reading in bed as I watch.
Too fussy for the nursery this morning so we are eating cheerios hanging out by the fire. http://twitpic.com/wik2c
We begin tomorrow. For real. Pray for me. http://twitpic.com/wlh2s
Potty Training Day 1 is on! We began with b'fast on the Happy Day plate, a candle to blow, "Happy Big Boy Day" song and tiny boxer briefs.
I always feel a little sad during the Route 66 flashback scene in Cars.
Head's up Dallas: Northpark AMC no longer allows outside food or drinks. I will miss noshing Chick-fil-A in front of the big screen.
PT day two: It was a rough morning but he stayed dry ALL afternoon! B insisted on sleeping in his big boy pants (now over his diaper).
B's version of Cars: 1st race thru Radiator Springs arrival, the "silly part" (cow tipping), and final race. Done. No dialogue needed here!
Small group concert. She's awesome for three weeks of self-taught practice! http://twitpic.com/x03yc
Up late with sad, shivering, hacking little boy. Sincerest apologies to my friends and their babies we inadvertently germed this afternoon!
Apparently a terrifying, shadowy menace now inhabits my bedroom. Cuddling my imaginative, feverish toddler in his (small) safe bed. Tired.
Blustering wind proclaims the arrival of frigid weather. Profoundly grateful all my loved ones are warm tonight. Praying for the homeless.
My Words w/ Friends icon is my digital laundry hamper. As soon as I think I'm caught up there are a dozen more items to deal with. Oh my!
Aww, I'm so happy for little Gilbert! I feel like a nervous momma for the kid.
Hang in there, Horns!
RT @Amburnett73: How to help homeless in the cold-http://bit.ly/8iinEm #cnn It's easier to toss out $1 and say "God bless", but please don't.
Of all the slimy, gross and/or stinky duties that come along with having small children, I think dealing with snot is my least favorite.
I'm just going to go ahead and save the number to poison control on my phone. Never know when it might be needed. Again.
We were out of the house all morning and Bennett kept his big boy pants dry! This potty training thing may work out after all!
I always get a kick out of ads in the newspaper's coupon section. This week : a man-girdle! (a mirtle?) http://twitpic.com/xuga3
I am pretty amazed that my two year old can accurately identify left and right. I may have been seven or eight before getting that straight!
So the "what's on hand" taco soup was good last night but the leftovers are GREAT! Must remember what I put in there and write it down.
Rough morning around here has me wondering: Which comes first, the impatient mommy or the uncooperative child? Afraid it is often the former
Sincerest apologies to all my Words With Friends opponents. My phone and I had to have a DTR talk and we're kinda "on a break" right now.
Sorting gummy vitamins has become something of a morning ritual around here. http://twitpic.com/yxaaw
Baylor tied AT Kansas with three minutes left?? Way to go Bears!
Two year old truth of the day: "sometimes it so hard to wait, Mommy".
"TRAC OFF", "VSC TRAC" and "check engine" lights on...continue running errands or turn around and go home?? I hate dealing with car issues.
Been seeking appropriately tempting "poop bribe" for the little potty trainee. I believe wii have found it! http://twitpic.com/108h95
So much to do. So little motivation. And the weather isn't helping...I just want my couch, down comfortor and library book.
Watching a Mr. Roger's show we borrowed from library...B is enamored. So lovely and calm compared to hyperactivity on TV. #officiallyold
I know it is terribly unproductive, but I so adore a Sunday afternoon nap. Perfectly lovely. Night night!
My parents want to rearrange so yesterday they offed this on us: http://twitpic.com/10rrck Current skill level approx equals my 9 y/o self.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So Apparently I Have a Blog
*ahem* Er....uh....is this thing on? *tap tap* Is anybody out there?
So, yeah, it's been a while.
Last time I posted I was a young mom of a baby girl and two year old boy. Nearly four months later I'm a less young (watching the remaining days of my twenties slip through my sleep deprived fingers), mom of a walking, talking one year old girl and a chatterbox of a three year old (unless we are around other people, in which case my three year old is mute for at least one hour).
Dayton is sleeping restlessly, therefore I'm not sleeping. I've checked on her a couple of times and even tried a diaper change but she still isn't settled. So as I wait for a load of diapers to finish rinsing I'm contemplating taking her some meeds in case she's teething. And I grew bored of Facebook stalking so now I'm here.
(Reading that last paragraph if occurs to me that it is truly a tragedy that I have been too wrapped up in my life to stop and share such valuable, fascinating tidbits with the world. How have y'all survived without me?)
Things I've missed writing about and may or may not get around to documenting here for our family record (in no particular order):
Dayton turns one
Bennett turns three
Baylor basketball in the elite eight and our trip to the NCAA tournament games
Snow, snow and more snow
Easter
Potty training and related adventures
Baby Cole arrives and we love him
Dayton starts walking
My children display unusual amounts of cuteness, brains and talent
Truly, I've missed blogging and it drives me absolutely bonkers that I'm not going to be able to catch up perfectly. I'm in a daily battle against the procrastinating perfectionist inside my head that wants to take over my life and steal my joy. So, to prove she's not in charge I'm diving back into my online journal/brag book/photo album/creative outlet without even pretending to play catch-up.
So take that, annoying perfectionist girl.
And I hope to be back here soon.
So, yeah, it's been a while.
Last time I posted I was a young mom of a baby girl and two year old boy. Nearly four months later I'm a less young (watching the remaining days of my twenties slip through my sleep deprived fingers), mom of a walking, talking one year old girl and a chatterbox of a three year old (unless we are around other people, in which case my three year old is mute for at least one hour).
Dayton is sleeping restlessly, therefore I'm not sleeping. I've checked on her a couple of times and even tried a diaper change but she still isn't settled. So as I wait for a load of diapers to finish rinsing I'm contemplating taking her some meeds in case she's teething. And I grew bored of Facebook stalking so now I'm here.
(Reading that last paragraph if occurs to me that it is truly a tragedy that I have been too wrapped up in my life to stop and share such valuable, fascinating tidbits with the world. How have y'all survived without me?)
Things I've missed writing about and may or may not get around to documenting here for our family record (in no particular order):
Dayton turns one
Bennett turns three
Baylor basketball in the elite eight and our trip to the NCAA tournament games
Snow, snow and more snow
Easter
Potty training and related adventures
Baby Cole arrives and we love him
Dayton starts walking
My children display unusual amounts of cuteness, brains and talent
Truly, I've missed blogging and it drives me absolutely bonkers that I'm not going to be able to catch up perfectly. I'm in a daily battle against the procrastinating perfectionist inside my head that wants to take over my life and steal my joy. So, to prove she's not in charge I'm diving back into my online journal/brag book/photo album/creative outlet without even pretending to play catch-up.
So take that, annoying perfectionist girl.
And I hope to be back here soon.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
One Year Ago Tonight
I alternated between breathing through increasingly difficult contractions and kicking Jeff's tail in Wii bowling. Mom played photojournalist.
Later, our sweet doula, Kim, arrived. Labor was more difficult, the time for game playing was done. Jeff rested a while and Kim babied me.
It wouldn't be long before getting to meet our darling "Baby Dos"!
Later, our sweet doula, Kim, arrived. Labor was more difficult, the time for game playing was done. Jeff rested a while and Kim babied me.
It wouldn't be long before getting to meet our darling "Baby Dos"!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
On A Less Contraversial Note
One thing having children is teaching this bleary-eyed night owl is to enjoy mornings a little more. Here are a few snapshots of recent (well, from early November) breakfast silly faces.
Love these goofy kiddos. What a blessed life I lead.
Love these goofy kiddos. What a blessed life I lead.
Not Exactly A Disclaimer
Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts about my toy snobbery! You all were so gracious and helpful. I especially appreciate those that disagreed with me for not raking me over the coals for being a bit uptight and snotty.
Before I posted the previous entry I considered including a disclaimer...something that said these are just my rambling opinions, I'm not into judging those that buy plastic Elmo work benches, I know I'm a little crazy, blah, blah, etc. But I didn't, mostly because it was way, WAY past my bedtime and also because I figured pretty much everyone who reads this little ol' blog already knows me and will probably give me the benefit of the doubt.
But upon reading it myself a week after posting I wanted to gag. I've never been a terribly opinionated person and I feel like I sound like a brat. So, in the interest of full disclosure, I want you to know that my distaste for licensed character, batteries-required and plastic toys is not 100% (er...probably even 50%) reflected in the contents of our playroom. I just let myself loose to share my most idealistic toy-scenario.
If you happen to give my child a light-up, singing, Handy Manny for their birthday because you love him and think it will make him smile, I promise not to roll my eyes or throw it back in your face. But, if you happen to ask me for a wish list, it will not (as long as I am in control of the wish lists) include a light-up, singing, Handy Manny.
Peace, love and wooden toys to all!
Before I posted the previous entry I considered including a disclaimer...something that said these are just my rambling opinions, I'm not into judging those that buy plastic Elmo work benches, I know I'm a little crazy, blah, blah, etc. But I didn't, mostly because it was way, WAY past my bedtime and also because I figured pretty much everyone who reads this little ol' blog already knows me and will probably give me the benefit of the doubt.
But upon reading it myself a week after posting I wanted to gag. I've never been a terribly opinionated person and I feel like I sound like a brat. So, in the interest of full disclosure, I want you to know that my distaste for licensed character, batteries-required and plastic toys is not 100% (er...probably even 50%) reflected in the contents of our playroom. I just let myself loose to share my most idealistic toy-scenario.
If you happen to give my child a light-up, singing, Handy Manny for their birthday because you love him and think it will make him smile, I promise not to roll my eyes or throw it back in your face. But, if you happen to ask me for a wish list, it will not (as long as I am in control of the wish lists) include a light-up, singing, Handy Manny.
Case in point, Bennett's two favorite parts of our Christmas decor are "Hip Hop Randy" (a singing, dancing bear) and a plastic, light-up, musical snow globe. Neither purchased by yours truly.
Peace, love and wooden toys to all!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
So Someone Had Mentioned Toys?
Oh, yes...that was me. Weeks ago. I was going elaborate on why I believe I've become a toy snob.
I'm afraid the truth of the matter ain't nearly interesting enough to warrant a month long delay. I'm almost embarrassed to bring it up again. But, in the midst of the Christmas season I've had to confront my snobbery head on a number of times when asked to draw up gift suggestion lists for the two little ones. And as I've mulled over the options, I've found myself thinking "I'll mention that when I write that toy post". So here goes.
There are a few details that set the stage for my current toy issues. First, I have a fairly idealized memory of my own childhood. It was pretty stinking great. And now, looking back through the eyes of an adult, I understand my family was not at all well off when I was little, but I never wanted for anything. The story isn't that I received all the cool toys and clothes I could have wanted. Rather, I had simple, often pre-loved (read: garage sale find or hand-me-down) things and my life was full of play, learning and joy.
Second, I'm a (not so) closet tree hugger. I'm a sucker for natural, reusable, sustainable, non-toxic, home made, simple, baking soda and vinegar, blah, blah. You know the type. That's me. Well, that's not exactly true. I want that to be me. And if it's not me yet, I'm on my way.
Part one: Cartoon Characters
I just can't do the licensed character stuff. With exception for books and maybe a t-shirt or stuffed animal (maybe) I plan to not buy my children any of it. No Elmo tennis shoes, no Winnie the Pooh backpack, no Superman bedspread, Nemo shower curtain or Backyardigans...I don't know...beanbags. I even chose a different brand of sippy cup to avoid one with Disney's Cars all over it.
Extreme? Probably. Will I give in when my dear daughter just LOVES LOVES LOVES all the Disney Princesses and wants nothing more than a purse with Belle on it? It is certainly possible.
I do have other reasons for my distaste besides the fact that I just find a lot of lisenced character gear to be tacky and cheap looking. First, when I see that stuff I can't help but think about how all these decked out toddlers are walking billboards for some Nickolodian show or Disney movie. Why do my kids need to advertise for some billion dollar company?
And although we watch our share of TV I don't want every one of (or even very many of) my children's toys to be pointing them back to the TV. They are drawn to it naturally enough! I'd like for my kids to be able to get dressed, eat, brush their teeth or play with a ball without being reminded of some show.
I'm also concerned that if so many of their play things revolve around predeveloped characters there is risk of their play not needing to be as creative. The "TV toys" already come with a script. Spiderman always fights bad guys and climbs walls. Dora always does...whatever it is that Dora does. (Something with a map? I don't know. We don't really watch that show.) Sure, they can choose to deviate from the script, but they don't have to come up with much of anything creative on their own. Children are naturally such imaginative and curious creatures I want to do everything in my power to nurture and encourage that!
I was thinking along these lines when I made a cape for a friend's third birthday (and in making one to give Bennett's for Christmas). The tutorial I was following included templates for Batman and Superman logos to attach but I decided instead to go with a big yellow star and the first letter of the child's name. Superman can fly and Batman drives an awesome car, but who knows what powers SuperBennett will have! I personally can't wait to find out.
Part Two: Bells and Whistles
Another common toy issue that bothers me is all the gadets. Everything has to have flashing lights, lots of buttons and annoying music and songs (in Enlish and Spanish!). It's enough to drive a stay at home momma bonkers. I realize a large part of my snobbery here is my own issue. I simply don't want to have the constant audio and visual assault all day every day.
Do the kids like the sounds and the lights? Well, yes. Yes they do. But if every toy does something for them then we are running into the imagination/creativity/open ended play problem again. I want my children to interact with their toys and be able to play in different ways with the same item. But the sound and light toys mostly just require a button to be pushed and then the toy does the rest of the work...or, uh, play, as it may be.
Almost all of these toys purport to be educational and I think it's a lot of bull honkey. Yes, "bull honkey" is my opinion after much careful research into the educational toy industry (that is if we can define "careful reasearch" as "watching my son play with various toys for 2.5 years"). I think many of the teaching aspects of these toys are simply not age appropriate for the child interested in playing with them.
I'll give the example of the "Laugh and Learn" toys, which are HUGE sellers for Fisher Price. Although we never owned one, the Laugh and Learn Home was an A-list hit for Bennett. A few friends had it and he loved that thing from the age of about seven months. It has a door babies can open, close and crawl through, a light switch that turns on a light, a little window you can pass things through. How perfect that you don't have to worry about baby smashing fingers in the cabinets or holding a curious toddler on your hip for half an hour so they can switch the kitchen lights off and on! It is a darling toy! So why must it also sing obnoxious songs and talk about the ABCs, counting and opposites? The one year olds who are interested in opening and closing doors and flipping light switches are NOT going to be learning their alphabet from a talking door. Why not leave well enough alone? Because parents want their kids toys to be "educational".
As parents we aren't concerned about Bennett knowing all his letters and numbers yet and haven't been intentionally working on those skills, but yet he can identify almost all of them. You know how he learned 'em? Not from a talking guitar or ABC singing caterpillar. But from simply reading books and talking about the foam letters floating the tub during bath time. We were shocked at how quickly Bennett learned his letters once he became interested and started asking us about them. These fancy, patented teaching methods simply required adult attention, time and interaction with a curious child.
I think when thoughtful parents and caregivers just talk about what they see and do as they go through life, babies and children are going to naturally pick up on important skills and all the flashing, singing toys just end up as superfluous background noise (emphasis on NOISE).
Part Three: Plastic
So here's where my snobbery goes off the charts and I really get myself in trouble. But here it is: I don't like plastic toys.
Do we have plastic toys? You bet your bottom! But if I could, I'd trade 'em all in for darling wooden or cloth versions of the same. I don't have as many good reasons for this issue as the others. It's mostly just about what I find pleasing to look at and what I'd rather have cluttering up our home.
I would so, so much rather have this dollhouse than this. Or this darling workbench instead of this. (For giggles, check out this definite no-no, it hits all three of my issues!) And we had one of these walkers, but I want to get Dayton this (or maybe this one?) for her birthday instead.
But if I've got to offer "reasons" I have a couple. First, Bennett treats indestructible things as though they are indestructible. And yes, toddler toys are made to take a beating because two year olds can really dish it out, but I think we underestimate our children too. Bennett loves it when we give him a "big" plate (stoneware like ours) at dinner instead of his bright plastic ones. He has yet to knock one on the floor and takes great care when carrying it to the counter when he's finished eating. Not so with the plastic plates. Even at two he has a general grasp of the value of things and treats them accordingly.
I also like to latch on to the idea of "green" toys made from renewable, non-toxic materials. Good for my children and good for the earth! Honestly, that argument probably appealed to me originally because I already wanted those toys. But it is a good thing, nonetheless. And how cool that with some simple tools and a little practice you can make wonderful playthings for your own kids?
I want my children to have lovely things that can be valued, treasured and maybe even passed on some day. Most wooden and cloth toys simply have more character than the chunks of plastic you find in every living room and nursery. Sure, toys will get dinged up and worn down from play, but that just adds to the character of good toys whereas it turns junky toys into trash...tons of plastic trash that sits in landfills for hundreds of years. (Ooops, did I let my inner hippie slip out again? I apologize.)
It must be noted that pretty much all the non-plastic toys are significantly more expensive than the plastic versions. And being a frugal (some would say cheap) girl, this drives me absolutely batty. But I've decided that I would rather my children have fewer toys that last longer, are lovely and encourage creative play than having rooms stuffed to the gills with all the plastic that money can buy.
So, I'm almost afraid to ask...but what do you think? Am I threatening to deprive my children of good, clean (noisy, flashy, cartoony, plastic) fun? Do my ramblings make any sense? Or am I just trying to reason myself into not feeling guilty for buying more expensive stuff? Have I totally offended you by bashing all your kids toys and now you hate me?
I'm afraid the truth of the matter ain't nearly interesting enough to warrant a month long delay. I'm almost embarrassed to bring it up again. But, in the midst of the Christmas season I've had to confront my snobbery head on a number of times when asked to draw up gift suggestion lists for the two little ones. And as I've mulled over the options, I've found myself thinking "I'll mention that when I write that toy post". So here goes.
There are a few details that set the stage for my current toy issues. First, I have a fairly idealized memory of my own childhood. It was pretty stinking great. And now, looking back through the eyes of an adult, I understand my family was not at all well off when I was little, but I never wanted for anything. The story isn't that I received all the cool toys and clothes I could have wanted. Rather, I had simple, often pre-loved (read: garage sale find or hand-me-down) things and my life was full of play, learning and joy.
Second, I'm a (not so) closet tree hugger. I'm a sucker for natural, reusable, sustainable, non-toxic, home made, simple, baking soda and vinegar, blah, blah. You know the type. That's me. Well, that's not exactly true. I want that to be me. And if it's not me yet, I'm on my way.
Part one: Cartoon Characters
I just can't do the licensed character stuff. With exception for books and maybe a t-shirt or stuffed animal (maybe) I plan to not buy my children any of it. No Elmo tennis shoes, no Winnie the Pooh backpack, no Superman bedspread, Nemo shower curtain or Backyardigans...I don't know...beanbags. I even chose a different brand of sippy cup to avoid one with Disney's Cars all over it.
Extreme? Probably. Will I give in when my dear daughter just LOVES LOVES LOVES all the Disney Princesses and wants nothing more than a purse with Belle on it? It is certainly possible.
I do have other reasons for my distaste besides the fact that I just find a lot of lisenced character gear to be tacky and cheap looking. First, when I see that stuff I can't help but think about how all these decked out toddlers are walking billboards for some Nickolodian show or Disney movie. Why do my kids need to advertise for some billion dollar company?
And although we watch our share of TV I don't want every one of (or even very many of) my children's toys to be pointing them back to the TV. They are drawn to it naturally enough! I'd like for my kids to be able to get dressed, eat, brush their teeth or play with a ball without being reminded of some show.
I'm also concerned that if so many of their play things revolve around predeveloped characters there is risk of their play not needing to be as creative. The "TV toys" already come with a script. Spiderman always fights bad guys and climbs walls. Dora always does...whatever it is that Dora does. (Something with a map? I don't know. We don't really watch that show.) Sure, they can choose to deviate from the script, but they don't have to come up with much of anything creative on their own. Children are naturally such imaginative and curious creatures I want to do everything in my power to nurture and encourage that!
I was thinking along these lines when I made a cape for a friend's third birthday (and in making one to give Bennett's for Christmas). The tutorial I was following included templates for Batman and Superman logos to attach but I decided instead to go with a big yellow star and the first letter of the child's name. Superman can fly and Batman drives an awesome car, but who knows what powers SuperBennett will have! I personally can't wait to find out.
Part Two: Bells and WhistlesAnother common toy issue that bothers me is all the gadets. Everything has to have flashing lights, lots of buttons and annoying music and songs (in Enlish and Spanish!). It's enough to drive a stay at home momma bonkers. I realize a large part of my snobbery here is my own issue. I simply don't want to have the constant audio and visual assault all day every day.
Do the kids like the sounds and the lights? Well, yes. Yes they do. But if every toy does something for them then we are running into the imagination/creativity/open ended play problem again. I want my children to interact with their toys and be able to play in different ways with the same item. But the sound and light toys mostly just require a button to be pushed and then the toy does the rest of the work...or, uh, play, as it may be.
Almost all of these toys purport to be educational and I think it's a lot of bull honkey. Yes, "bull honkey" is my opinion after much careful research into the educational toy industry (that is if we can define "careful reasearch" as "watching my son play with various toys for 2.5 years"). I think many of the teaching aspects of these toys are simply not age appropriate for the child interested in playing with them.
I'll give the example of the "Laugh and Learn" toys, which are HUGE sellers for Fisher Price. Although we never owned one, the Laugh and Learn Home was an A-list hit for Bennett. A few friends had it and he loved that thing from the age of about seven months. It has a door babies can open, close and crawl through, a light switch that turns on a light, a little window you can pass things through. How perfect that you don't have to worry about baby smashing fingers in the cabinets or holding a curious toddler on your hip for half an hour so they can switch the kitchen lights off and on! It is a darling toy! So why must it also sing obnoxious songs and talk about the ABCs, counting and opposites? The one year olds who are interested in opening and closing doors and flipping light switches are NOT going to be learning their alphabet from a talking door. Why not leave well enough alone? Because parents want their kids toys to be "educational".
As parents we aren't concerned about Bennett knowing all his letters and numbers yet and haven't been intentionally working on those skills, but yet he can identify almost all of them. You know how he learned 'em? Not from a talking guitar or ABC singing caterpillar. But from simply reading books and talking about the foam letters floating the tub during bath time. We were shocked at how quickly Bennett learned his letters once he became interested and started asking us about them. These fancy, patented teaching methods simply required adult attention, time and interaction with a curious child.
I think when thoughtful parents and caregivers just talk about what they see and do as they go through life, babies and children are going to naturally pick up on important skills and all the flashing, singing toys just end up as superfluous background noise (emphasis on NOISE).
Part Three: PlasticSo here's where my snobbery goes off the charts and I really get myself in trouble. But here it is: I don't like plastic toys.
Do we have plastic toys? You bet your bottom! But if I could, I'd trade 'em all in for darling wooden or cloth versions of the same. I don't have as many good reasons for this issue as the others. It's mostly just about what I find pleasing to look at and what I'd rather have cluttering up our home.
I would so, so much rather have this dollhouse than this. Or this darling workbench instead of this. (For giggles, check out this definite no-no, it hits all three of my issues!) And we had one of these walkers, but I want to get Dayton this (or maybe this one?) for her birthday instead.
But if I've got to offer "reasons" I have a couple. First, Bennett treats indestructible things as though they are indestructible. And yes, toddler toys are made to take a beating because two year olds can really dish it out, but I think we underestimate our children too. Bennett loves it when we give him a "big" plate (stoneware like ours) at dinner instead of his bright plastic ones. He has yet to knock one on the floor and takes great care when carrying it to the counter when he's finished eating. Not so with the plastic plates. Even at two he has a general grasp of the value of things and treats them accordingly.
I also like to latch on to the idea of "green" toys made from renewable, non-toxic materials. Good for my children and good for the earth! Honestly, that argument probably appealed to me originally because I already wanted those toys. But it is a good thing, nonetheless. And how cool that with some simple tools and a little practice you can make wonderful playthings for your own kids?
I want my children to have lovely things that can be valued, treasured and maybe even passed on some day. Most wooden and cloth toys simply have more character than the chunks of plastic you find in every living room and nursery. Sure, toys will get dinged up and worn down from play, but that just adds to the character of good toys whereas it turns junky toys into trash...tons of plastic trash that sits in landfills for hundreds of years. (Ooops, did I let my inner hippie slip out again? I apologize.)
It must be noted that pretty much all the non-plastic toys are significantly more expensive than the plastic versions. And being a frugal (some would say cheap) girl, this drives me absolutely batty. But I've decided that I would rather my children have fewer toys that last longer, are lovely and encourage creative play than having rooms stuffed to the gills with all the plastic that money can buy.
So, I'm almost afraid to ask...but what do you think? Am I threatening to deprive my children of good, clean (noisy, flashy, cartoony, plastic) fun? Do my ramblings make any sense? Or am I just trying to reason myself into not feeling guilty for buying more expensive stuff? Have I totally offended you by bashing all your kids toys and now you hate me?
Saturday, November 14, 2009
1:03 A.M.
Baby wakes. I grumble up stairs, yearning for my bed. Consoling, I wonder, when did legs grow so long, dangling from my cradling arms? I am caught off guard, overwhelmed in this moment with gratitude and love. Humbled, tears spill and I am awed anew by miracle, blessing and challenge of raising souls in tiny bodies. Thank you, Lord!
I cannot, I will not fail these previous ones with daily, straining efforts of my wisdom and power, reaching, longing for good. Foolish and weak are my strategies.
Psalm 63:1-4
Oh God you are my God
Earnestly I seek you
My soul thirsts for you
My body longs for you
In a dry and weary land where there is no water
I've seen you in your sanctuary
Beheld your power and your glory
Because your love is better than life
My lips will glorify you
I will praise you as long as I live
In your name I will lift up my hands
I cannot, I will not fail these previous ones with daily, straining efforts of my wisdom and power, reaching, longing for good. Foolish and weak are my strategies.
Psalm 63:1-4
Oh God you are my God
Earnestly I seek you
My soul thirsts for you
My body longs for you
In a dry and weary land where there is no water
I've seen you in your sanctuary
Beheld your power and your glory
Because your love is better than life
My lips will glorify you
I will praise you as long as I live
In your name I will lift up my hands
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