So Someone Had Mentioned Toys?

Oh, yes...that was me. Weeks ago. I was going elaborate on why I believe I've become a toy snob.

I'm afraid the truth of the matter ain't nearly interesting enough to warrant a month long delay. I'm almost embarrassed to bring it up again. But, in the midst of the Christmas season I've had to confront my snobbery head on a number of times when asked to draw up gift suggestion lists for the two little ones. And as I've mulled over the options, I've found myself thinking "I'll mention that when I write that toy post". So here goes.

There are a few details that set the stage for my current toy issues. First, I have a fairly idealized memory of my own childhood. It was pretty stinking great. And now, looking back through the eyes of an adult, I understand my family was not at all well off when I was little, but I never wanted for anything. The story isn't that I received all the cool toys and clothes I could have wanted. Rather, I had simple, often pre-loved (read: garage sale find or hand-me-down) things and my life was full of play, learning and joy.

Second, I'm a (not so) closet tree hugger. I'm a sucker for natural, reusable, sustainable, non-toxic, home made, simple, baking soda and vinegar, blah, blah. You know the type. That's me. Well, that's not exactly true. I want that to be me. And if it's not me yet, I'm on my way.



Part one: Cartoon Characters
I just can't do the licensed character stuff. With exception for books and maybe a t-shirt or stuffed animal (maybe) I plan to not buy my children any of it. No Elmo tennis shoes, no Winnie the Pooh backpack, no Superman bedspread, Nemo shower curtain or Backyardigans...I don't know...beanbags. I even chose a different brand of sippy cup to avoid one with Disney's Cars all over it.

Extreme? Probably. Will I give in when my dear daughter just LOVES LOVES LOVES all the Disney Princesses and wants nothing more than a purse with Belle on it? It is certainly possible.

I do have other reasons for my distaste besides the fact that I just find a lot of lisenced character gear to be tacky and cheap looking. First, when I see that stuff I can't help but think about how all these decked out toddlers are walking billboards for some Nickolodian show or Disney movie. Why do my kids need to advertise for some billion dollar company?

And although we watch our share of TV I don't want every one of (or even very many of) my children's toys to be pointing them back to the TV. They are drawn to it naturally enough! I'd like for my kids to be able to get dressed, eat, brush their teeth or play with a ball without being reminded of some show.

I'm also concerned that if so many of their play things revolve around predeveloped characters there is risk of their play not needing to be as creative. The "TV toys" already come with a script. Spiderman always fights bad guys and climbs walls. Dora always does...whatever it is that Dora does. (Something with a map? I don't know. We don't really watch that show.) Sure, they can choose to deviate from the script, but they don't have to come up with much of anything creative on their own. Children are naturally such imaginative and curious creatures I want to do everything in my power to nurture and encourage that!

I was thinking along these lines when I made a cape for a friend's third birthday (and in making one to give Bennett's for Christmas). The tutorial I was following included templates for Batman and Superman logos to attach but I decided instead to go with a big yellow star and the first letter of the child's name. Superman can fly and Batman drives an awesome car, but who knows what powers SuperBennett will have! I personally can't wait to find out.

Part Two: Bells and Whistles
Another common toy issue that bothers me is all the gadets. Everything has to have flashing lights, lots of buttons and annoying music and songs (in Enlish and Spanish!). It's enough to drive a stay at home momma bonkers. I realize a large part of my snobbery here is my own issue. I simply don't want to have the constant audio and visual assault all day every day.

Do the kids like the sounds and the lights? Well, yes. Yes they do. But if every toy does something for them then we are running into the imagination/creativity/open ended play problem again. I want my children to interact with their toys and be able to play in different ways with the same item. But the sound and light toys mostly just require a button to be pushed and then the toy does the rest of the work...or, uh, play, as it may be.

Almost all of these toys purport to be educational and I think it's a lot of bull honkey. Yes, "bull honkey" is my opinion after much careful research into the educational toy industry (that is if we can define "careful reasearch" as "watching my son play with various toys for 2.5 years"). I think many of the teaching aspects of these toys are simply not age appropriate for the child interested in playing with them.

I'll give the example of the "Laugh and Learn" toys, which are HUGE sellers for Fisher Price. Although we never owned one, the Laugh and Learn Home was an A-list hit for Bennett. A few friends had it and he loved that thing from the age of about seven months. It has a door babies can open, close and crawl through, a light switch that turns on a light, a little window you can pass things through. How perfect that you don't have to worry about baby smashing fingers in the cabinets or holding a curious toddler on your hip for half an hour so they can switch the kitchen lights off and on! It is a darling toy! So why must it also sing obnoxious songs and talk about the ABCs, counting and opposites? The one year olds who are interested in opening and closing doors and flipping light switches are NOT going to be learning their alphabet from a talking door. Why not leave well enough alone? Because parents want their kids toys to be "educational".

As parents we aren't concerned about Bennett knowing all his letters and numbers yet and haven't been intentionally working on those skills, but yet he can identify almost all of them. You know how he learned 'em? Not from a talking guitar or ABC singing caterpillar. But from simply reading books and talking about the foam letters floating the tub during bath time. We were shocked at how quickly Bennett learned his letters once he became interested and started asking us about them. These fancy, patented teaching methods simply required adult attention, time and interaction with a curious child.

I think when thoughtful parents and caregivers just talk about what they see and do as they go through life, babies and children are going to naturally pick up on important skills and all the flashing, singing toys just end up as superfluous background noise (emphasis on NOISE).

Part Three: Plastic
So here's where my snobbery goes off the charts and I really get myself in trouble. But here it is: I don't like plastic toys.

Do we have plastic toys? You bet your bottom! But if I could, I'd trade 'em all in for darling wooden or cloth versions of the same. I don't have as many good reasons for this issue as the others. It's mostly just about what I find pleasing to look at and what I'd rather have cluttering up our home.

I would so, so much rather have this dollhouse than this. Or this darling workbench instead of this. (For giggles, check out this definite no-no, it hits all three of my issues!) And we had one of these walkers, but I want to get Dayton this (or maybe this one?) for her birthday instead.

But if I've got to offer "reasons" I have a couple. First, Bennett treats indestructible things as though they are indestructible. And yes, toddler toys are made to take a beating because two year olds can really dish it out, but I think we underestimate our children too. Bennett loves it when we give him a "big" plate (stoneware like ours) at dinner instead of his bright plastic ones. He has yet to knock one on the floor and takes great care when carrying it to the counter when he's finished eating. Not so with the plastic plates. Even at two he has a general grasp of the value of things and treats them accordingly.

I also like to latch on to the idea of "green" toys made from renewable, non-toxic materials. Good for my children and good for the earth! Honestly, that argument probably appealed to me originally because I already wanted those toys. But it is a good thing, nonetheless. And how cool that with some simple tools and a little practice you can make wonderful playthings for your own kids?

I want my children to have lovely things that can be valued, treasured and maybe even passed on some day. Most wooden and cloth toys simply have more character than the chunks of plastic you find in every living room and nursery. Sure, toys will get dinged up and worn down from play, but that just adds to the character of good toys whereas it turns junky toys into trash...tons of plastic trash that sits in landfills for hundreds of years. (Ooops, did I let my inner hippie slip out again? I apologize.)

It must be noted that pretty much all the non-plastic toys are significantly more expensive than the plastic versions. And being a frugal (some would say cheap) girl, this drives me absolutely batty. But I've decided that I would rather my children have fewer toys that last longer, are lovely and encourage creative play than having rooms stuffed to the gills with all the plastic that money can buy.

So, I'm almost afraid to ask...but what do you think? Am I threatening to deprive my children of good, clean (noisy, flashy, cartoony, plastic) fun? Do my ramblings make any sense? Or am I just trying to reason myself into not feeling guilty for buying more expensive stuff? Have I totally offended you by bashing all your kids toys and now you hate me?